from things we knew when the house caught fire

short by drury

They were the bad neighbors. That was the thinking. But let me back up.

here is a list of things:

• BMW (him)
• Sport utility vehicle (her)
• Franchise coffee (whole bean, bought by the pound, kept in the freezer)
• A Martha Stewart garden you pay someone to garden
• A clean house, brightly lit
• A divorce
• A family who downhill skis (with helmets on) and participates in organized community sports
• A sixty-hour work week
• A daycare where you pay overtime
• A babysitter who sleeps over
• A dog with a new leash who eats biscotti

The perfect suburb is a delicate thing. It takes a careful balance of ingredients - all the perks of being near to the big city without all the ugly side effects that would turn it into a strip mall or ghetto: crime, traffic, malt liquor billboards, diapers, and dog food cans blowing around in the street like urban tumbleweeds.
Best Amerian Non-required Reading 2003 p. 117